People have expressed that taking a stab at sobriety is a good idea. Some even said they would like to try it along with me. Straight up. That's a bad idea. This is a miserable excursion and I suggest that you don't try this shit at home.
7am: I wake up to my roommate's alarm going off. Apparently he didn't come home last night but I'm sure he came somewhere else. Lucky bastard. Yet another reminder that I'm not having sex. Fuck my life.
11am: You know who is to blame for my sobriety? No, not me! What the fuck! That'd be way too easy. Vodka is to blame! Bourbon, Scotch and Tequila are like mother's milk. Vodka is for sissies yet somehow it was the catalyst for my sobriety. Fuck Vodka.
7am: I wake up to my roommate's alarm going off. Apparently he didn't come home last night but I'm sure he came somewhere else. Lucky bastard. Yet another reminder that I'm not having sex. Fuck my life.
11am: You know who is to blame for my sobriety? No, not me! What the fuck! That'd be way too easy. Vodka is to blame! Bourbon, Scotch and Tequila are like mother's milk. Vodka is for sissies yet somehow it was the catalyst for my sobriety. Fuck Vodka.
Weekend Plans
Friday I'm supposed to go to a party . . .for Three Kings Tattoo Shop . . . at a bar . . . . . and not drink. This will be quite the challenge. I usually don't make sound decisions while I'm sober. Ooh, maybe I'll find someone to make out with.
Saturday is the St. Patty's Day Parade in Hoboken which I have been invited to. Now there are bad ideas and then there are baaaad ideas. Not sure I'm going to show up to that. It's a celebration based solely on drinking. I could be asking for it.
Friday I'm supposed to go to a party . . .for Three Kings Tattoo Shop . . . at a bar . . . . . and not drink. This will be quite the challenge. I usually don't make sound decisions while I'm sober. Ooh, maybe I'll find someone to make out with.
Saturday is the St. Patty's Day Parade in Hoboken which I have been invited to. Now there are bad ideas and then there are baaaad ideas. Not sure I'm going to show up to that. It's a celebration based solely on drinking. I could be asking for it.
Top 5 Benders:
September 2006: Penn State vs. Michigan State: 11am: Chantel and I arrive at Tonic. I immediately order a wild turkey and ginger. I leave the bar at 10pm, many wild turkey and gingers later. Highlight: Chantel eating a chicken wing yelling "Suck a dick!"
July 2007: Jen, Ying, Andrea and I go to Tio Pepes. We arrive at 7pm and stay until 3am . . . $400 later. Highlight: At one point I have a glass of Sangria, a Mojito and a shot of tequila sitting in front of me. Yes, I thought I was in heaven too. Highlight cont'd: I buy an $80 purple vibrator and my boyfriend excitedly asks, "When can we use it".
March 2008: After running around all day preparing for Lisa's surprise 40th, Jody and I arrive at the VFW with 60 helium balloons. Ooops forgot to eat that day. Highlights: Well some of those can't be shared here. Cake fight: which I have no recollection of but apparently was involved in.
April 2008: 5pm: Jen and I arrive at Divine bar. I don't leave until 2am . . . $400 later. Highlight: I apparently sang Kelly Clarkson at the top of my lungs.
August 2008: Jen, Ying, Andrea, Cat and I arrive for our annual Tio Pepes Ladies night. I have no idea what the time frame was. Highlight: I vomited on the table in a tortilla basket.
Um, as I recall I was also at Divine Bar that day. You stuck me and Jen with the tab.
ReplyDeleteI find it hard to believe no PSU/Legion Lane moments made your top 5.
As I told Aimee, there will be a whole PSU section. So don't worry you're pretty little head!
ReplyDelete